Just Breathe
by aperfectsong
Summary: Inuyasha thoughts as he sits in the God Tree.


Just Breathe  
  
This is a one shot songfic to Breathe by Faith Hill. It is in Inuyasha's point of view, a bit fluffy, but not too much. A bit angsty, well sort of.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, nor do I own the song Breathe by Faith Hill.  
  
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_I can feel the magic floating in the air; being with you gets me that way._

I let her go home this time. We didn't get into a fight. I just let her go. She seemed really surprised, but happy because she was able to return home without fighting me about it. Hell, even I'm surprised I let her leave that easily. 

_I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I've never been this swept away._

I'm sitting in my normal spot in the God Tree, my eyes focused on the well for any sign of her return. I know she won't be coming back today, but still I watch for her. Shippo has run past the God Tree three times since she left, trying to sneak a glance to see if I'm still here. I am. 

_All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze._

I used to sit in this tree fifty years ago. Only then it wasn't Kagome I was watching, it was Kikyo. She was the first human I ever really talked to, the first one I ever loved. I miss her sometimes, like when the wind blows the bitter cold scent of bones and burial dirt, I miss her. She will always be a part of me and I will always miss her. That's the part Kagome can't understand. She could understand it if she tried, but she won't. I don't blame her. 

_When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms the whole world just fades away._

There are a lot of things Kagome doesn't understand. For one, she doesn't understand how I feel about her. I guess I can't blame her for that either because I know I'm not very open with my feelings. If you start sharing your feelings with everyone, life gets a whole lot more complicated and you get hurt. Or, they get hurt. Like what happened with Kikyo. I don't want that to happen to Kagome. She's too innocent, childlike, too smart, and beautiful… 

_The only thing I hear is the beating of your heart._

If only things were different and Naraku didn't exist. Then I could tell Kagome my feelings. Only, then I wouldn't be having them. Because of Naraku, I was able to find Kagome. As much as don't want to admit it, I'm grateful to Naraku for that. 

That's another reason I am bound to Kikyo; if not for her death I would never have known Kagome. I owe Kikyo my life and I don't deserve to be happy without her. But, Kagome doesn't deserve the way I am forced to treat her. I can't love her. 

But, I do. 

Talking about this with Kagome is out of the question; I know how much it would hurt her to hear me explain myself. Some things are better left unsaid. It's okay the way it is now. Now, when my feelings are kept hidden, but deep down she knows them anyway. It's all speculation. I know she feels the same about me—I can tell. We share an understanding without the use of spoken words. It's better that way, where neither of us know for real how the other feels… They're no pain involved for her, for me, for Kikyo. It's as if we are friends, but in our minds we are much more. 

_'Cause I can feel you breathe—it's washing over me and suddenly I'm melting into you._

That's why I let her go home. I want things to stay as they are now. Once we collect all the shards and face Naraku nothing will be the same. Someone could be killed, or we could all be fine and Kagome could leave. It would be unfair to have her continue living between two worlds. 

_There's nothing left to prove._

I can't stall forever; Miroku's wind tunnel won't stay its current size for much longer. It will grow and eventually kill him if Naraku isn't destroyed. Then there's my promise to Kikyo. Once Naraku is destroyed I'll have to keep my promise—I'll die with her and leave Kagome here alone. 

_All we need is just to be caught up in the touch, the slow and steady rush._

Why did I make that promise? Kikyo isn't Kikyo. She's a walking corpse. Her soul is now part of Kagome's. 

She's dead. 

But, she was once living. The look in her eyes when she shot me with that arrow fifty years ago never leaves my mind. That look of complete betrayal and pain, I can't stand to ever see that look again. I know if I break my promise I will see it again. But, Kagome is capable of the same look. No matter what I do, I will end up hurting one of them. And this time it will be me, not Naraku that causes that stare of betrayal. I don't know that I can handle that look. 

It means that I really have to choose between them. To choose between my past—one who died for me, and my future—one who has taught me so much with just her smile alone. I really do love her. I just wish things could stay as they are now for eternity. 

_Isn't that the way that love's supposed to be?_

But, wishes like that aren't granted. 

Shippo ran by again. He doesn't think I can hear him, but I can. I hear the sound of the leaves crunching under his feet and his slow, gasping breaths in attempt to be quiet. They aren't like Kagome's. Unless she's upset, Kagome's breathing is deep and steady, it echoes through my mind in rhythm; I know I could listen to her breathe for the rest of my life. 

_I can feel you breathe—just breathe…_

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For those of you who noticed, yes I did omit the "and"s and "baby"s from the song. They just sounded weird... Review and let me know what you think. This is my first try at a songfic. 


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